I’m not sure I’m actually ready for this, if I’m being completely honest.

I’ve known this is coming for several months now. This will be surgery #3 on the ol’ Frankenankle, so you’d think it would be old hat by now.

But it’s not. Or, at least, it doesn’t feel like it is. This surgery feels different.

I realized that I’m not even 40, and yet they’re going to start fusing joints. Rationally, I know this isn’t all that uncommon in people with EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome)—though I have not officially been diagnosed with EDS by a genetic test, it is highly suspected and my doctors and physical therapist are treating me as if I do have it. It’s the ONE thing that actually makes sense. But this post isn’t about that.

I’m really worried about this surgery. I don’t know why. Why is this one different? Because of the fusion? Because of the likelihood of removal of the damaged nerve? Because the recovery is said to be a lot longer than what I’ve already gone through? I honestly don’t know the why behind my concern/fear. I just know it’s there.

I’m trying to look on the bright side. This will force my butt to be in a chair and I’ll have time to write. I’ve actually been outlining (loosely… I am much more of a pantser when it comes to writing, after all) my current WIP, so I will have the time to write. I’d like to get a full first draft of DVoD by the end of August. Sooner, if possible. That’s my end-goal. But who knows where my foot/ankle will be, what level of pain might be involved, etc.?

I’m also concerned about the day job. I love my job, I love the people I work with, and I really enjoy what I do. But I’m concerned about being able to do it properly solely from home for several weeks. I won’t be able to do things like recording voice overs, recording videos, get the after-meeting connections and info that inevitably happens with almost every meeting… I know I will make the most of it, but the concern still lingers there.

On a lighter note, I’m also annoyed that I won’t be able to see some of the blockbuster movies that are coming out here at the end of July/beginning of August. LOL Priorities, y’all… priorities! But seriously… I know with my first surgery, I tried to go see a movie a week or two post-surgery, and even at the theater with the reclining seats, it was super awkward and uncomfortable. But seriously, friends, I NEED to see Star Trek Beyond in the theater! And let’s not forget about Jason Bourne, Suicide Squad, and Pete’s Dragon. Okay, okay, Pete’s Dragon might be able to wait ’til video, but not the others!

I guess I should just chill and let what will happen, happen. Focus on the good things: time to write, time to relax (the drugs alone will ensure this one, amiright?), time to spend with the family…

I’ll update y’all for sure. Thanks for stopping by! 💜